loupxgarou's Journal

I have now added my Elder Scrolls Oblivion fan fiction story titled Alessandra's Story! I'm quite hooked on the game and I love to write about the world inside of it, many more chapters to come, enjoy! p.s. it is for mature readers, a bit too hot for you youngsters ;)

2 new visual poems added! Call me In and F.E.A.R - I'd really appreciate it if you could take the few minutes to read them and crit and rate them =D

check it out =]

Hey I just posted a new visual poem of mine called 'Cease the Rain' (under my Spell Book). I'd really love to see visual poetry spread more across quizilla! Got a second? Check it out please ^_^

So I really want to update, but there's really nothing to say. I had a few random bursts of dreaming last weekend, but they have seemed to have halted (which is good I supose). So, I promised Nathaniel I'd tell him about one, but I really don't feel like sharing. Damn I'm going to feel like a bitch if I don't, fine fine. you win. So it started as four chicks, myself and Nathaniel were in this sort of prison. We were hostages (As to why is up for speculation) and we always had the same guards; these two huge guys. During the day we were kept in gray-stone rooms with a single brass bed frame and a mirror (I don't know why a mirror). Every two rooms had a sort of window were they could look into the one cell next to them. We almost never saw anyone else but the other hostages and the two guys. After three cold nights, I was dragged out of my bed when it was dark out into this vast hallway sort of room. (we were on the second story). One of the guys dragged me out and threw me down the stone stairs but it was all dark and I could not see. I can't describe what he looks like but long-story short I was beaten and the scene later shifted to me back in my room with bruises and razer cuts. Later, the dream cuts to a scene where the girls, nathaniel and the two men are all in this dark kitchen area and when the blonde girl asks for water she's sent sprawling backwards by one of the men's punch. Later, I realize that Nathan is moved into the room next to me and we smile to each other briefly before I move out of his view and sit in the corner of my room. Apparently there is a bathroom-type area between nathaniel and i's rooms and one of the men is working back there rebuilding it. As darkness falls, I can still hear the man with his tools in the back room. He stops drilling and doing whatever he was working on and approaches me. Here I won't give you detail; fill in the blanks yourself. If you still don't get what happens, ask. This happens twice under different circumstances and then the dream is over. Sorry I'm not good at describing dreams because so much is emotional/visual. I don't know how other people dream, but with me the emotions and events in the dream stay with me and I remember everything. It's quite weird how even a day after I have an unsettling dream I'm still feeling effects and emotions from it. Oh well. This made me feel better, however watered-down.

Hey I'm just looking aorund to see if anyone would like to crit/comment my artwork and visual poetry I have up on my deviantart account. I'm scarletrainxx at scarletrainxx.deviantart.com. You comment/watch me I'll comment or watch you =]

I ended the summer with a bang and was happy despite school starting up! Yay!
Here's how it all went down..

     Friday my boyfriend Nathaniel got to come over and hangout for couple o hours.  My padre took us to blockbuster where we got Stephen King's Dreamcatcher and also the imfamous Planet of the Apes (which I was told was a classic).  Damn, I know, I wanted to get the kilelr Nun movie but, hey, Dad was the one paying for them. 
        So he got to come over and my dad insisted on chilling in the den with us.  Seems the first movie pick went to a vote so I was stuck watching Planet of the Apes lol. Interesting movie so say the least (like why would a female ape love a human guy??) and I ended up probably pissing off everybody but constantly talking.  We ordered pizza, chilled and watched the other movie as madre and Emily come home and dad took him home later on.

     Saturday  we had plans to go to Hawian Falls waterpark with my four best friends, two of whom I haven't seen for years!! It's funny, because we're all sets of twins and we've known each other since kindergarden. Anywho, it was so fun and a blast the entire day.  Haha we went in one of those lazy river things to talk to the lifeguards I threw all the single girls to the front.  It was amazing to say the least. Ton's of fun, we exchanged numbers and are gonna party again soon.

     Sunday Emily and I dragged Caitlin along back-to-school shopping and made dad take us (so we could spend more money lol) and I got some sweet stuff.  JcPenny was having huge sales all over the place and I finally have jeans that aren't too big for me and I got my black skinny jeans! yay! Later on, Emily went to oboe practice and Caitlin and I swam at our house before showing up in bikini's at Elise's house and kidnapping her. We swam and hung out at my house for a while, taked to her boyfriend while running around the house naked (well at least me) and eating random crap outta our fridge. Then we went to her house with Emily later and pretended her bed was a pirate ship for a whilie (until our innocent roleplay got a little rough and i got stabbed with an eyepatch). For the rest of the day we simply burned things...including her carpet and had a lovely bonfire in the backyard.

I created my Poem titled "Without Wings" into a visual poem on my deviantart account (please visit it!

Please take some time to visit my deviant. http://scarletrainxx.deviantart.com/ If you have one I'd love to see it

So it's been up and down lately. Well for a while I guess. I do not understand people. At all. I would rather have no friends at all then friends who are fake. Quite honestly, I'm a little bored of it. Don't be my friend and then turn around and be a bitch/dick to me either. It's not that I can't take what you say or what you call me, (god knows it's probably true) I just can't accept that you still call yourself my friend after that. Like seriously, "Hey Avery you look like shit today, can't you just put on a little make-up? Oh, but you know I love you though, dumb bitch". WTF? Did I miss something here, because I seem to be out of the loop. It's a little saddening to realize that you honestly really only have yourself. It's something I learned but never really believed until recently. Doesn't anyone ever give a fuck anymore? Why do people have to lie about themselves to be 'accepted'? Jesus christ, all I'm asking for is a little honesty and caring for once. My friends seem to drift away and I'm no longer included. Ignore me - fine, don't care about me - fine. I can take it. I guess it just sucks sometimes