shinespirit's Journal

Could this be? Could I actually get a quiz on the Highest Rated board for my birthday?! Oh happy happy birthday to me!! And to think, if I get even MORE votes, even just a few, I should be guaranteed to be on the board! And since technically my birthday doesn't start for another 40 minutes (although to be REALLY technical, I wasn't born until 4:44 in the afternoon) I have all day tomorrow for my quiz to get more votes! Oh joyous birthday!! (Much better than last year when I had a huge fight with my boyfriend.)

So tell me, fellow Quizillans, can't you find it in your hearts to vote a 5 on my quiz and make my birthday happy? *big puppy eyes* It's What Wand Will Choose You? Go ahead and click the name, it's a link!

Right, so we all know that the Quizilla Policy bans anyone from writing sex stories (those stories that are mostly sex-based and/or pornographic) and sexual explicit pictures, and if you don't, go read Quizlla's Policy becuase we would hate for your account to be zapped because you're an ignorant noob.

Well, the basic reason for this, though there may be others, is that there are some people who are not comfortable with anything sex-based and do not want to see that sort of material here on Quizilla.

However, there are people who DO like the sex-based media and people who feel that because this site is supposed to allow people to express themselves, that banning that sort of content is inhibiting the users on here from expressing themselves freely and do not feel it is fair.

Well, I think I have an idea that may solve (most of) our problems! Quizilla is constantly expanding nowadays, what with journals and games and a new Poetry section of the site. So I wondered, why not make an exclusive section for these X-rated materials? That way, the people who want to can have their sex media and those who don't want to look at it, simply don't click on that section and don't look at it. Or even better, make a sister site that's devoted entirely to sex! Those users who have strict parents can still use Quizilla because, technically, there is no sex on QUIZILLA but there is a sister site named, maybe, SEXILLA, that one could go to for their sexy stories and such.

Isn't that a good idea? Please, everyone, write to the Quizilla webmasters at sugestions@quizilla.com if you agree with me!

So it gets to a point where it seems like Woody is actually getting upset about all this and we don't talk the rest of the way to his house. I went in and immediately sat on the couch and he stayed in the kitchen. What can I say? I'm bad for pride, but I don't stay mad long so I went into the kitchen and gave him a kiss. Now, he'd been acting funny all day like he was either A) tired, and he had to be at work at 4 AM so that was a possibility B) not feeling well or C) upset about something. Knowing that he wouldn't volunteer this information without a fight because he likes to act like he's always perfectly fine, I began pestering him with the question, What's wrong?

So he began giving me the regular BS answer, Nothing. Now I'm guilty of this myself, and hell we all do it sometimes, but we both knew that was a lie (and on some occassions it isn't) so I kept asking. He announced that he was going to lie down so I followed him into his room. Long story short, only hours later, after we'd eaten dinner and watched most of Batman on TV did he suddenly burst out, Do you like Joe?

Joe Bayes? I asked. Joe Bayes is Woody's friend who rides with us to and from school.

Yeah, Joe Bayes, he said.

No, I answered honestly. Joe's really tall and skinny with almost no chin and a permanent braindead look on his face. His hair's shaggy and black and he's only skinny because he got tall all of a sudden, from what Woody says Joe used to be fat, and he's certainly not any more muscular.

Really? Woody asked. Because you two seem to have been doing a lot of flirting lately. Joe does a lot of really stupid, random stuff like poke my nose and yell, HA! At first I didn't really say much to Joe because I didn't know him, but now that I know him a bit better I'll give him a shove or something back and he'll pretend to cry and I'll say, That's right, cry like a little bitch! I'm just playing though, but I can see how it can all be interpreted as flirting.

I don't, I said again.

Then why did you sit next to him yesterday at CiCi's? he asked.

Because I always sit across from you. Of course we're usually by ourselves when we do this, but it was sort of a sudden decision. Joe had taken a seat diagonal from Woody and left a chair for me by the aisle across from Woody's aisly seat. I like aisle seats and the chair was the first one I approached so I took it. Our table was flush against a wall too and I didn't want to be cloistered in.

Well, it just seems odd that Joe keeps flirting with you and all of a sudden now he and Tay are breaking up.

History time! Tay is Joe's girlfriend. She's fairly pretty, tall, thin, dark African skin and large eyes, but the trouble with her and Joe's relationship is that it's all about sex. We four went to Homecoming together and Tay and Joe were all over each other until we left and then Tay climbed aboard Joe's lap and they had a screw. Once they got off, they didn't talk to each other at all, like they were mad at each other. They never pay each other attention unless they want to screw (which is all the time) and Tay and Joe seem to fight a lot when they aren't screwing. Of course it doesn't help my argument that Joe told Woody that my Homecoming outfit was hot. It was short, strapless black dress with three layers of sheer skirt puffing out like a tutu. I had on black sandal heels with rhinestones and laces that went up my leg, plus my hair was teased and put half up and half down and was quite sexed-up. I looked like a a ballerina who had just been in a violent orgy, it was very cool.

I told Woody about how even her had said that he didn't suspect that Joe and Tay's relationship would last much longer and he just shrugged. Of course I can't speak for Joe, but I told Woody that I wasn't interested in Joe and he said that I must feel the same way about him and Clara. It's sort of odd how these things turn out.

Clara went out of her way to get Woody's number and talks to him a lot, although she has a boyfriend here. She seems to like Woody a lot, and not just as a friend.

Joe seems to be talking to me a lot more. Friday Woody wasn't at school and Joe came into the lunchroom to ask if I he was here. I told him he'd be there after school to take me home and Joe said good, becuase he wanted to take his grill he'd made in shop home. Well after Woody and Joe worked out in the weightroom (which Woody had failed to mention to me beforehand so I was stuck waiting for them for an hour and a half again) Joe never put his grill in Woody's truck. And it would seem obvious that Woody wasn't at school if he didn't take Joe to school either.

But we reconciled and now Woody and I are on normal grounds again. But I'm worried about school on Monday. Joe's going to be riding with us again and Woody thinks Joe's been hitting on me. What's going to happen with them? Woody's really not a violent person, but how is he going to handle his friend flirting with his girlfriend? Even if Joe really isn't, that's what it seems like to Woody. I think Woody should tell Joe that he isn't comfortable with Joe getting so friendly with me. I will be the first to say this: I am naive. I had no idea Joe could have been flirting with me. Woody's the first boyfriend I've ever had (and I was a freshman when we started dating) and even though he'd come over and talk to me every day in 7th period and called me Cutie and said my eyes were beautiful, I still wasn't sure that Woody liked me.

Yeahhh. So I could honestly have a guy talking to me that had I LOVE YOU HEATHER ___ PLEASE MARRY ME tattoed on his forehead and I'd just assume that it was a sort of joke. I really have a hard time believing that guys can find me attractive because I had been so ignored by boys all my life that it just doesn't seem possible. Anyway, I don't know what to do if what Woody thinks is true. I see Joe in the halls 3 times a day, and now I'm going to be working with him and Woody. Where the hell did this love triangle come from? I love Woody, Woody loves me, Joe loves Heather and that makes three. WTF??

I just hope that it isn't true, that would just cause more awkwardness than I really wanna deal with. I don't need any friends fighting each other over me, I'd never want that. I feel so arrogant for saying that, but it might be true. I've already had my two friends get in a love traingle over a boy before and although they're all on good terms now (even the boy) I doubt that's a common occurance. I gues I'll shut up now. Good God I'm long winded.

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced, nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tear,
Looms the horrors of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matter not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll;
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul!

Ok, translation time.

invictus- Latin for undefeated, unconquerable,
Black as the Pit- the Pit being Hades, or Purgatory, this means Black as Hell
from pole to pole- from the north axis of the Earth to the south axis of the Earth; from one end of the world to another
unconquerable- impossible to overcomr or defeat
fell- able to inflict pain or suffering
clutch- a hold or grasp
circumstance- chance, luck
winced- flinched or shrank as in pain or distress
aloud- out loud, not to be confused with allowed which means having permission
bludgeonings- beatings, pummelings
unbowed- not bent
wrath- anger
looms- appears to the mind in a large and threatening form
menace- a show of an intention to inflict harm
strait- difficult, stressful
gate- a path or way
scroll- a schedule fate- destiny; a set of events that will inevitably happen in the future.
inevitably- impossible to avoid or prevent

I hope this has helped someone, even if it is only one person. My teacher told us to share this with someone who needs it and I think that by putting it here, maybe I can share it with all of you.