sunnydee.'s Journal

February 12, 2008

another day of shitty-ness

I like it that my cat always jumps on my lap, when I'm on the computer. I like that I can't do shit. The only thing I can do is mop. What the fuck is wrong with me? My life isn't bad. Not at all, far from it. I feel like I'm in the warm up area still. I haven't even gotten to the starting line and the race is a really slow fifteen hundred. Can I not stop sounding like a fucking miserable mess? I'm not.

Yesterday, I watched Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind. I wanted to watch that forever, but I was always too late. It made me feel weird after, because it was a true love story, in it's messed up way. Now, I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife (it's amazing, you should read it) and it's also one of those non-traditional love story. I had all this fantasies about my soulmate and everything. All traditional of course. Like the couragous knight and the damsel in distress. Not. Love comes in every shape and size.

Blahblah...I really need to do my goddamn homework.

shit

posted at 3:16 pm EST | 2 comments

January 30, 2008

let's talk about spaceships.

it's half past lazy. the air is heavey with lysol. ew. i mean it's louded like a gun. i stayed after for french today. i overheard my teacher get in a fight with a man about kids dropping out of french. she was pissed. i distracted myself with the arts she had laying on the desk. i think i have inspiration by a woman standing in the tall grass, wearing a hat that hung at the sides, and her hair blowing perfectly in the wind. i'm choking on lysol and the shift key doesn't work.

the monster left. now it's peaceful. i should really be doing my homework. i'll just procrastinate a little longer. anyways, i caught the late bus and started to read christopher moore's lamb. i noticed the boy who sits behind me, helped me with one of my earth science lab. i got 100 on it. and the girl who said i was her better half last year...hasn't talked to me this year. but is determine to give me dirty looks. as if she ever called moi. i mean a friendship isn't a one person job. i'm actually frowning as i'm writing this, because i never meant for it to be like that. it sucks, even thou she was something to handle, but she's really funny.

i'm stupid for not knowing the streets.

i got home and want to the ymca. i did a mile and was on my sixth lap for doing 2miles. when this girl, i played soccer with, came up to run and yea. i didn't like soccer this year, lets just say that. then, i want to the machine room where i did the step up machine. i have no fucking clue the name actually. after using it, i was reminded why i didn't like using the machines. after you use them and walk after your legs feel weird. that's why i am sticking to the track above the basketball gym.

ooooh. i saw this kid, i reallly really hate. i don't even know his name...i just know i can't stand him and he gets me in a bad mood. ugh. all i know is that he is the asshole of the year and trust me...it's pretty hard to beat him.

i'm going to stop. i'm going to go upstairs and do my fucking homework...because some idiot had to go and invent a fucking school.

you horndog.

posted at 7:58 pm EST | 4 comments

November 4, 2007

How I feel When I think of you

Have you ever wanted to see someone so bad that you force your mind to forget about them. Then one day your sitting at the bench in the mall staring at the t.v. store watching some crap ass love movie and just break down. THe thing is you don't care that everyone is staring at you. You cry and cry and wonder how a rope can lead to such sadness. It might feel like a lifetime since it happen, but it feels like you were with him yesterday. All this energy your using to forget him just back fired. Today is the day four years ago you could have paid more attention, you could have seen all these signs. The signs. You could have done something and maybe he'll be standing right here next you. hugging? maybe. life's a bitch but that's alright. My feelings might have been screwed and my faith in love will never be the same, but at least I know where I'm going. All these memories aren't so clear, but at least I can still feel his hug and can still laugh at his elvis act. Now I'm a little bent, but it's all alright.

posted at 3:45 pm EST | 2 comments

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