Dear Readers,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub outside your office and I saw you pull the clothes off my boyfriend. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your virginity as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and I love Oprah.
Go Drown Yourself,
wowimflying
HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12)
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your "My Little Pony" collection
Other --The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed
House- Sterile
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Get sick when I think of your feet
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Love your sweet, sweet ass
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I love Oprah
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself
Italy - Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore
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Comments
@ 3:34 PM EST on Saturday, February 6, 2010, Crazii15 said:
God i fukin miss her and her story. it makes my heart ache thinking about it.@ 3:34 PM EST on Saturday, February 6, 2010, Crazii15 said:
God i fukin miss her and her story. it makes my heart ache thinking about it.@ 9:14 PM EST on Friday, January 22, 2010, toastinthetoaster said:
Dear Lorena, I don't really know how to tell you this, but the rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you . I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me at the mental hospital and I saw you drive over my boyfriend . I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that I may pee my pants . I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and please don’t hurt me go hit yourself over the head with a brick! toastinthetoaster@ 5:12 PM EST on Sunday, January 10, 2010, BrokenDreamsOfMe said:
(Trying to contain convulsive laughter)@ 4:41 AM EST on Friday, January 1, 2010, xXWeTheKingsxX said:
i miss her. :/ i miss I'm a Freshman, he's a senior. where are you?!@ 7:28 AM EST on Tuesday, December 29, 2009, TwilightDino123 said:
Where is she? She hasnt written in MONTHS. I mean, im not complaining, i can wait for her to update, but she hasnt even been on :/@ 10:01 AM EST on Wednesday, December 23, 2009, DanielRadcliffeWife said:
Dear xConichiwax, I don't know how to tell you this but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when I quoted Forrest Gump at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning your old new kids on the block blanket but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should know that I will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and you should stop picking you nose. Best of luck on the sex change, DanielRadcliffeWife@ 9:16 PM EST on Sunday, December 13, 2009, kkluvsdakeys98 said:
dear erin, i really dont know how 2 tell u this, but, the rainbow hedgehogs are coming to destroy you. i think i realized it when i quoted forrest gump outside your office and i saw you sit on your my lttlee pony collection. im sure your manohastic ehough to realize your ford sucks. im returning your new kids on the block blanket but i'l keep the blood sample as a memory. you should also know your cooking sucks and your apartment bulding is on fire. go drown yourself, kkluvsdakeys98@ 3:03 AM EST on Sunday, December 13, 2009, XsilverXdeathX said:
does anyone know why she hasnt written anymore??@ 7:52 PM EST on Monday, November 9, 2009, Writer4ever113 said:
Dear Abby, I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized this when we skinny dipped in the bathtub at the Mental Hospital and when I saw you sit on your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure your sterlie enough to understand that your Ford sucks. I'm returning the New Kids on the Block blanket back to you, but i'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the autorites that you stole the whale in the backyard and you should stop picking your nose. Your everlasting enemy, Writer4ever113 LOL! love this@ 4:03 AM EST on Sunday, October 25, 2009, DeadlyBirdMelody said:
oh. at first i just read the first paragraph and was like 'wtf? that doesn't make sense' lol@ 11:45 PM EST on Saturday, October 24, 2009, do-not-judge-me56 said:
Dear Dale I don't really know how to tell you this, but i dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my corned beef hash. I'm sure you're sterile enough to understand that the middle-east is planning their revenge on you. I'm returning your old New Kids on the Block blanket to you, but I'll keep your photo with the mustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and i love oprah. Go drown yourself, Carly@ 8:59 AM EST on Monday, October 19, 2009, XxEmoLoverzxX said:
Dear Andy, i dont really know how to tell you this but the rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think i realized it when i saw the purple monkey at the mental hospital and i saw you sit on my illegitimate child in Ghana. I'm sure you're sterile enough to understand that i get turned on only by garbage men. Im returning your toe ring to you, but ill keep your neighbors dog as a memory. You should also know that i get sick when i think of your feet and im scratching my butt as you read this. Warm tingly sensations, Ely Lmfao.@ 5:18 PM EST on Tuesday, October 13, 2009, paramoreee22 said:
Umm..... Does anyone know why wowimflying hasn't wrote anymore?@ 5:18 PM EST on Tuesday, October 13, 2009, paramoreee22 said:
Umm..... Does anyone know why wowimflying hasn't wrote anymore?@ 1:15 PM EST on Sunday, October 4, 2009, XClairvoyanceXCollisionX said:
Dear Rachel, I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it When we skinny dipped in the bathtub Outside of your office and I saw you Carve your initials into My salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're Open enough to understand that The middle-east is planning their revenge on you. Im returning The couch cushions to you, but I'll keep Your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I Get sick when I think of your feet and Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird. Go milk a cow, XClairvoyanceXCollisionX@ 11:00 AM EST on Sunday, October 4, 2009, KayceMacey said:
Dear Benet, I don't really know how to tell you this but, I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter outside your office and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I will never forget that night and you ruined my attempt at another world war. Please don't lick my inner thighs anymore, Kayce@ 11:58 AM EST on Sunday, September 27, 2009, futrstar100 said:
Dear Dylan, I really don't know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on your "My Little Pony" Collection. I hope your Sterile enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and you should stop picking your nose. Plese, don't lick my inner thighs anymore, Meghan@ 8:05 PM EST on Sunday, September 13, 2009, moonlitrose23 said:
Dear Jenny i don't really know how to tell you this, but the rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think i realized it when I threw up in your sock drawer under the bus and I saw you pull the clothes off the elephant in the corner. I'm sure your middle-class enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your toe ring. but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and I love Oprah. Go drown yourself. Moonlitrose23@ 4:29 PM EST on Saturday, September 12, 2009, iWrite294 said:
haha this is suprer funny! :D What is it called??? Are they're anymore also?